few years ago I came to realize that all the negativity in my life I was creating. I could understand that the negative way people where treating me, I was allowing. Although I didn't understand how, I knew in my heart that I was the problem.
I could see that there were people who lived a good, clean, positive life and I wanted that life. This put me on a journey to discover who I really am. I refused to believe that my thoughts where creating the negativity in my life. But, the whole time I was refusing this notion, I knew without a doubt, in my heart, it was the truth.
Whenever my consciousness was raised higher and I could see myself for who I really was it wasn't without a fight from my ego telling me that this was a lie. Once I let go of my wrong ideas about my life and this world and allowed the Truth to come into my life, I started to understand exactly how my thoughts where creating my life/reality. I would test this new idea out on little things like putting my attention on a friend and she would call. And I continued to test it and realized that this was a Truth. I couldn't deny this Truth, and if I did, who would I be lying to, myself?
This journey of mine has been going on for about 7 years now and I know without a doubt that everything that has happened to me, including my baby dying when I was 20, I created it. That's the Truth. For 10 years before my son died all I thought about was that my mother died. My mother was a drunk who on a daily basis wanted to kill my siblings and me for 3 years before she died. She almost succeed a few times. I had death on my mind day and night. I saw death everywhere. I had people die in front of me. I went to a number of funerals in those 10 years. I couldn't let go of this thought of death and created it again with the death of my son.
You may think that this is bazaar, but it isn't.
All my life, in my heart, I could feel God's love and this Love is what kept me believing that life is good. Then I came across a type of meditation that dissolved all those bad memories from my consciousness. I've come to realize how powerful my thoughts really are 20 years later and made a decision to create a good, positive and clean life for myself.
I made it my JOB to stop all this negative thinking I did. And it worked. And it wasn't all that fun or easy. It hurt. I was frightened to let go of all my wrong ideas and to think in a new way. But, I held on to what was good and made new good memories. I took those memories, and replaced any negative thoughts I was having, with a good memory. I would turn my radio up loud to drown out my own negative thoughts. I focused only on people who I thought where very positive. I read only about positive things. I took the TV out of my bedroom and I stopped watching TV and listening to the radio all together for 7 months. Before long the negative way I had been thinking my entire life had stopped. All that was good was coming into my life. I started to fall in love with myself. I was living a good, positive and clean life. I believe the meditation I practice, Sahaja Yoga, helped me to let go of the wrong conditionings and beliefs I had about myself and life.
So, yes, we do create our lives exactly the way they are. You can fight your ego and deny any of this if you so choose. Or you can choose to know the TRUTH about yourself and life and be led to that TRUTH and start creating a wonderful, beautiful satisfied life for yourself.
God is only good and anything outside of this Goodness is not of God.
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