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The Secret of Romance

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What hope does The Secret offer to those in search of romantic love? It offers the promise of unfailing success!

The passionate quest for romantic fulfillment is the most universal and intense of human aspirations. When it reaches its acme, the attraction to another person totally occupies the thought and will, the emotions and sensations. Yet for every story of romantic love successfully fulfilled, there are countless tales of lovers who are ignored, scorned or rejected.

Law of Romantic Attraction

For many people it is easier to conceive that The Secret can be utilized to earn millions than to win the heart of another person. But the principles and the process are the same. An analysis of successful romantic pursuits will quickly confirm that they obey the law of attraction.

Romance is not an object to be found or won. It is a psychological endowment. Romantic fulfillment is not just a matter of finding the right person and convincing them you are right for them. Romance is a matter of BEING the right person and having the capacity to love another person the way they need to be loved. The Secret of romance is not 'getting' the other person to love you. It is having the capacity to love others and to be lovable. Rather than asking the universe to find you the right person, ask the universe to give you the psychological endowments needed to attract the right person because you are lovable. Rather than seeking for a particular person, ask the universe to give you those endowments that will bring the right person and keep them always near to you.

The object of romance is the joy of love and living. Just because you win the person you are attracted to is no guarantee that you will bring each other the joy you both seek. So better than asking for romance, ask the universe for the rich emotional fulfillment that you associate with romantic love. The Secret is that once you acquire that feeling you become lovable to everyone and the whole universe of love moves toward you.

Love in Literature

Love is a mystery. But great writers have studied the mystery of romance with scientific depth and precision and revealed the secrets of the process. Great literature reveals the process in its entirety. The successful union of Rosalind and Orlando in the face of enormous odds in Shakespeare’s As You Like It and the final success of Darcy’s impassioned pursuit of Elizabeth in Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice illustrate how love has the power to overcome overwhelming obstacles.

As You Like It

In As You Like It the obstacles to romantic love were primarily external. Orlando and Rosalind felt a natural affinity and attraction to each other on their first meeting. Both found themselves in precarious and life-threatening situations. He because his father had died and his evil brother plotted his death. She because her father, the old duke, had been exiled and supplanted by her uncle, who found Rosalind's popularity with the people a threat to his hold on power. Orlando fled to the forest to escape arrest, but his mind and emotions were totally focused on his longing for Rosalind. He thought of her constantly, saw her in image in every flower, carved her name on every tree. Life, the universe, responded to Orlando’s all-consuming passion for Rosalind by bringing her to the forest, where she sought to escape persecution by her uncle. There they met, courted, loved and finally married.

Pride & Prejudice

The obstacles to the romantic union of Darcy and Elizabeth were even greater. In As You Like It the opposition was social and external. In Pride & Prejudice it arose directly from characters – thoughts, words and acts of the lovers themselves – from Darcy’s proud, arrogant and insulting demeanor and from Elizabeth’s low family connections and intense prejudice and resentment of him.

Elizabeth's resentment resulted directly from Darcy's behavior: his aloof and insulting manner during their first meeting, his successful efforts to cancel the budding relationship between her sister Jane and his friend Bingley, the offensive manner of his first proposal to her, insulting to both herself and her family. All these coupled with Wickham’s false allegations against him were enough to ignite an intense dislike in Elizabeth that bordered on hatred. And on top of everything else, Darcy had to contend with the fact that Elizabeth was strongly attracted to Wickham. The obstacles appeared all but insurmountable.

From this seemingly impossible situation, Darcy managed to recover and win her by an approach which conforms in all essentials to the principles advocated in The Secret. Initially Darcy may have been encouraged by his belief that any woman would be pleased to marry a man of his high position. But when Elizabeth rebuffed his initial proposal with such finality – “You are the last person I would ever marry!” -- even that support was removed.

After he realized the true nature of her feelings, Darcy wisely refrained from any further external initiatives. Instead, he acted inwardly, psychologically, on his own character. He frankly re-examined his life and behavior, recognized the justification in Elizabeth’s harsh accusations against him, and decided to remove the objectionable characteristics he observed. He refused to give up hope of winning her. His admiration and passionate aspiration for Elizabeth were undeterred or even enhanced by the intensity of her rebuke.

The universe responded to the intensity of Darcy’s inner effort by bringing Elizabeth to his very doorstep. When the trip she had planned to the North of England along with her aunt and uncle had to be abbreviated due to her uncle’s obligations in London, they proposed taking her to Derbyshire instead, to a village just adjacent to Darcy’s family estate, Pemberley. There Elizabeth heard from the housekeeper compelling evidence of Darcy’s good character and Wickham’s falsehood. There she was compelled to see and feel first hand the magnificence of the position Darcy had offered her and she had so vehemently scorned. These influences brought about a significant change in her own attitude to Darcy. The moment the psychological conditions were conducive, the universe acted to bring them together. Darcy suddenly appeared at the estate, a day ahead of schedule, and they met in mutual surprise and embarrassment.

Darcy’s hopes were sparked. Elizabeth’s warm interest was kindled. But conditions were not yet fully conducive for romance. Jane and Bingley were still separated from each other. The disdainful comments by Darcy about Elizabeth’s low family origins could not be effaced merely by his polite behavior. Again the universe acted in response to their mutual aspiration, this time bringing news of the elopement of Elizabeth's sister Lydia with Wickham. The immediate result was to separate her from Darcy and convince Elizabeth that any further relationship between them was made impossible by her sister’s disgraceful behavior. The actual effect was to present Darcy with an ideal opportunity to prove to her how fully he had altered his view of her family and how great were the personal sacrifices of his social sentiments he was willing to make in order to win her. Overcoming his repulsion for Wickham and Lydia, he hunted them out, arranged for their marriage and even paid for it, with a strict prohibition against his role being made known to Elizabeth or her parents. Again the universe acted to reveal the truth to Elizabeth about Darcy’s heroic role in saving the family honor. When Darcy also withdrew his opposition to Bingley’s marriage with Jane, the stage was set for his own fulfillment. But life required an occasion for him to renew his proposal to Elizabeth. It came when she finally spoke up expressing her gratitude to him for saving her family. The next moment he proposed again and they were united.

Read a detailed analysis of how the principles of The Secret are depicted in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

See Also Fitzwilliam Darcy

Unfailing Rules for Romance

What then are the rules for success in romance?

  • Unwavering confidence, conviction, concentration, will, determination and emotional enthusiasm. Banish all traces of self-doubt, fear of rejection, sense of unworthiness.
  • Place your total reliance on the universe to bring you the person who can best fulfill your emotions. Act inwardly, aspire intensely, and wait for external circumstances to ripen. After Darcy’s failed proposal to Elizabeth at Rosings, he aspired and waited patiently until the universe delivered her to his very door in circumstances far more propitious for success.
  • Be entirely positive in thought and feeling with an unshakeable cheerfulness, a faith that is so strong that it feels as if it has already accomplished. Feel gratitude for all you have and will receive in future. These are the attitudes that align us with universal life and attract the object of our seeking.
  • Concentrate your consciousness on becoming a person who anyone can love rather than on convincing another person to love you.
  • Focus your efforts on genuinely loving the other person rather than thinking or worrying about whether they love you. True love is spiritual self-giving that asks and expects nothing in return.
  • Above all, expand and reach out to embrace the world in your emotions. Move away from ego. Forget yourself in joyous goodwill and self-giving to others. Love responds irresistibly to a vibration of happy, expansive self-giving.

Can romance ever be unfailing? When the emotional energy is intense, happy, outgoing, expansive, confident, courageous, patient, self-forgetful and self-giving it can never fail to achieve any goal or win any person. Strength attracts. Cheerful, confident, pleasant, enthusiastic strength attracts much more. Calm, patient, undemanding strength that waits for life to bring the object of attraction is irresistible.

The methods of The Secret are infallible, even in love. In cases of romance, the aspiration comes from the deepest of emotional centers. Therefore it can never fail. If it does not succeed for any reason, an analysis of the situation according to the Four-quadrant Model of Decision-making will reveal the missing ingredient so you can provide it.

Recovering the Sweetness of Romantic Love

For those who have experienced the sweetness of romantic love and seen it fade with time or even turn into the opposite experience, there is a spiritual method by which you can recover the sweetness, harmony and joy and even win back a loved one who has left you. Discover The Secret of Harmonious human relationships.

Questions and Discussion

There is a method even to bring back a lover who has left you for good. Read that and more on Secret Forum :Romance


Raise questions about The Secret and provide answers to questions raised by others in The Secret: Forum

Or make comments and raise questions on our blog | Using the Secret

Or send an email with questions or comments to humansciencewiki@gmail.com


See also other articles on The Secret








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